Feeling anxious at the beginning of the school year is a normal response to some big changes. Please be gentle with yourself and your little ones.
The following article from Whole Child Counseling has some excellent tips about how to manage anxiety in your household.
Please reach out to us if you would like some assistance. We're happy to help.
Mitchell staff often refer to the movie Inside Out. Here is another good reason to enjoy this film with your child.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_movies_can_help_children_find_meaning_in_life
Most children love stories. Stories are entertaining and fun, but can they be more than just fun? Findings from a new study led by one of us (Rebecca de Leeuw) indicate that stories in movies can also be meaningful for children.
This study interviewed children between 4 and 15 years old after they watched the Disney • Pixar film Inside Out. This film takes place predominantly in the head of an 11-year-old girl, where her emotions—Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust, personified as different characters—conflict on how to help her best in her new life after her family moves. When making this film, the filmmakers had extensive consultations with psychologists, including GGSC founding director Dacher Keltner, to make the emotion animations consistent with scientific knowledge.
Being brave is hard. This article from Hey Sigmund might help you help your children when anxiety swoops in.
https://www.heysigmund.com/courage-and-anxiety-in-kids/?mc_cid=2ad2055df4&mc_eid=0ce7a86014
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network resources around Talking to Children about the Shooting.
5 Ways to Help Your Kids Have a Healthy School Year
With kids heading back to school, here are some ways you can help stay healthy, happy and thrive.
Begin with the basics, ensuring that students get nutritious meals, sufficient sleep and physical activity. All of these are key to academic and social success. Studies show that children who eat a nutritious breakfast function better at school, for example. Many children qualify for free or reduced-price food at school, including breakfast. The forms for these services can be completed at the school office.
Getting enough sleep is also critical to staying healthy and thriving at school. Not getting enough sleep can affect memory, concentration, creativity and learning. In fact, lack of sleep is linked with lower academic performance, school attendance and tardiness.
If your child has not had a well-child checkup in the last year, schedule a back-to-school physical which will include any needed vaccinations. If they will be playing a sport, be sure to get a pre-participation (sports) exam. Your pediatrician can help you update any forms your child's school may need in case of a medical emergency.
If you have health insurance coverage through Medicaid or the Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP), check that your contact information is up to date with your state Medicaid agency. This will ensure you get timely updates about your health coverage so you can avoid any gaps in coverage.
Many children and teens have experienced mental health struggles over the past few years. Let your child know it's OK to talk about how they're feeling, and make it safe for them to discuss tough issues with you. Kids often avoid talking about touchy subjects, especially if they expect to be judged, lectured or punished. If you haven't already made this clear, affirm that your child can tell you anything. Emphasize that these conversations will take place in a judgment-free zone and really listen to what your child is saying.
Stay on the lookout for any changes in behavior that worry you or any signs of anxiety, depression or distress. If you have a firearm in your home, make sure to lock it up and store the ammunition separately. The increased risk of suicide is higher for children and teens who live in a home where guns are stored loaded or unlocked.
Try to prioritize family meals and self-care breaks, like taking walks together. These can be great opportunities to talk. Ask your pediatrician if you are unsure if your child needs help or how to start a discussion. Schools may also offer sources of mental health support.
Talk with your child about racism and hate. Encourage children to seek help from a trusted adult if they are discriminated against or witness an act of bullying or discrimination against others. Emphasize the value of treating others with respect and how simple acts of kindness can make a big difference. In fact, research shows that kindness can reduce stress and offer health benefits for everyone.
The change in routine is a good time to create or update your family media plan so you can help your child balance screen time with sleep, exercise and other healthy activities. Help your children choose high-quality programs or games and help them recognize sites that that promote false information.
This is also a good time to engage in conversations with your child about if and how they use social media, which can be beneficial but also problematic for some. We are still learning about the ways social media can affect human health, especially among children and teens. (See "Social Media & Mental Health.")
Children are resilient and can overcome many challenges with the help of trusted adults around them. Talk with your pediatrician if you have any questions or concerns about your child, including changes in mental or behavioral health. Look for any notable changes in sleep, weight, eating habits or other everyday patterns. Your pediatrician is here to help!
The Parent Cafe is a great opportunity to connect with other parents and ask all kinds of questions. For more information about Kids Free to Grow check out their website at https://kidsfreetogrow.org/family-programs/
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Mental Health Awareness Month
Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed in the U.S. since 1949. Every year during the month of May, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) joins the national movement to raise awareness about mental health. Together, we fight stigma, provide support, educate the public and advocate for policies that support the millions of people in the U.S. affected by mental illness. Read below to learn more about how you can get involved.
https://www.nami.org/Get-Involved/Awareness-Events/Mental-Health-Awareness-Month/
As parents, one of our greatest motivations is to protect our children from pain and suffering—in essence, from negative emotions. Nonetheless, despite our best efforts, our children will be disappointed, feel fear and pain, and have tremendous loss and grief. But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Experiencing emotions is at the heart of what it means to be alive, and emotions can provide us with information about ourselves and our environment. While we cannot strive to protect our children from difficult emotions, there are strategies we can use so that these emotions provide opportunities to learn and to feel connected to others.
The extent to which our children’s experiences of negative emotions could be potentially beneficial depends on their ability to self-regulate. In young children, parents play a vital role in this equation. Children’s prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain that controls emotions and functions like the CEO, is highly immature. Imagine what would happen if a child were the CEO of a Fortune 500 company (think Richie Rich). Disaster! As the parent, you have the privilege of getting to be that CEO until your child is ready to take over
Ask your child "How was your day?" and actively listen to the answer. Be available when your child wants to talk, even if it's not the best time for you. If they tell you about a challenge they are facing, let them finish the story before helping them solve the problem. Many kids are having a tough time dealing with losses they have experienced during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. If you see signs of anxiety or depression talk with your pediatrician. For more information, see How to Talk About Mental Health With Your Child and Their Pediatrician.
Mark game nights or other family activities on your calendar so that everyone can look forward to enjoying time together. With cold winter weather and the ongoing spread of COVID-19, take the opportunity to spend more time at home playing and connecting as a family. Also be sure to carve out one-on-one time with each of your children regularly to do something they enjoy. Put away cell phones, tablets and other media devices during these special times and really focus on each other.
Start reading to your child beginning in infancy. Many studies show that reading together strengthens parent-child bonds and promotes positive parenting. Plus, when you read to or with your child, you help them build a foundation for success in school, which is linked to long-term wellness.
When your child is angry, grouchy or in a bad mood, try not to take it personally. Calm your own emotions first, perhaps by taking a deep breath, and then give a quick hug, cuddle, pat, secret nod or other sign of affection. Once they are also calm and feeling better, consider talking with them about the event and how they might better manage those strong emotions next time.
Show how much you care by taking your children to the doctor regularly for well-child care visits. Make sure they are up-to-date on vaccines to protect them against infectious diseases, including COVID-19, flu, and other recommended immunizations. Teach them how to be safe from injuries, provide a healthy and nutritious diet, and encourage good amounts of sleep and exercise to help them grow healthy and strong. Create a safe home environment, and use seat belts or car seats every time you are in a vehicle.
Use positive, non-violent discipline. Harsh physical and verbal punishments don't work and can damage long-term physical and mental health. From an early age, explain clear and consistent rules that your children can understand. Give praise when they follow them—not just punishment when they don't. Calmly explain consequences and follow through right away when rules are broken.
Use plenty of positive and encouraging words when talking with your child. Model consideration and gratitude by saying “please" and "thank you." Skip the sarcasm, mockery and put-downs, even if teasing. Children often don't understand your purpose. Even if they do, these messages can harm self-esteem and create negative ways of talking and connecting with each other.
Spend time together in nature when you can, exploring ways to appreciate and protect it. Taking steps to care for the environment will show your children how you care about their future. Many children and teens hear about or experience climate-change-fueled disasters such as wildfires and severe storms. Talk with them about their concerns in a way that is honest, hopeful, developmentally appropriate, and solution oriented. For tips, see Talking With Children About Climate Change.
If you lose your cool and react harshly to your child, apologize and explain how you will handle the situation in the future. Be sure to keep your promise. Also forgive yourself. No one is perfect. Understanding how to forgive is important for your child to accept their own mistakes as well, and build confidence and resilience.
One of the best ways to teach your children about good food choices and enjoy each other's company is to cook together. Involve them in the entire process, from planning the menus to shopping for ingredients to preparing and serving the meal. Family meals are a great opportunity to talk and connect. Put away any electronic devices, including your own phone.
Help your child develop positive relationships with friends, siblings and members of the community. Teach them about the value of kindness. Encourage your child to be involved in activities that require teamwork, such as sports. Get to know your child's friends and talk about responsible and respectful relationships.
Consider adopting a pet if possible. Having a pet can help make some children, especially those with chronic illnesses and disabilities, feel better by increasing their physical activity, enhancing their overall positive feelings, and offering another way to connect with someone they care about.
Remember, all children want their parent's attention, no matter their age. Make time every day to talk. Young people are more likely to make healthy choices if they stay connected with family members.
Don't forget to say "I love you" to your children on February 14—and many more times as they grow up. They are never too old to hear it.
